Granada Excerpts

Again, Vamsee has done an incredible job putting pictures to words. Check it out. So, I won’t dwell on the details of the trip. I just wanted to talk about the stories behind the words and the pictures.

Granada is a very different place. One day it looked straight out of a medieval period drama. Another day, it looked as though it was straight out of a street in Istanbul or Afghanistan. The people were gracious, too gracious at times. We were being led to our lodgings by this old man who spoke passable English. He was reeking of sherry and garlic, quite an odd combination. One with a weak stomach would have puked in a minute. This street that the house was on had an exotic feel to it. There were graffiti of different clubs and action groups. There were the ubiquitous anti-US and anti-Bush slogans everywhere. Then I chanced upon a suicide-prevention center graffiti. Never have I seen a weirder way of advertising! As we were walking past the graffiti, we passed by a group of teenagers who were goofing around, a few of them in gothic costumes- eye shadows, hair in spikes, and wearing iron in earrings and bangles. It was quite a sight. We then came to a Halal shop, with screaming signs that promised the best meat in Granada. As we walked up to our room on the 1^st floor, the smell of garlic and meat wafted up to meet us.

The rooms were fantastic. Although someone who had occupied the rooms before us had managed to lock the bathroom FROM THE INSIDE! It was the strangest thing. Vamsee talked about the TV. The screen was the size of a postage stamp. It only had 3 channels. And one of the channels always carried an American show dubbed in Spanish. Saru and I stayed glued to the TV in spite of the Spanish. You cannot blame us. It was the one where Ross wears leather pants, and powders his thighs to put them back on. It was funny in English, and it was funny in Spanish as well! But Vamsee and Kala wanted to spend quality time talking. Who talks while Friends is on TV?!

We walked everywhere. Kala was a fantastic sport. She was struggling to breath, but would not give up a chance to make fun of everyone. There was this one time, Saru preferred to call ducks “bataks” (Hindi for ducks). Substitute “bataks” for ducks, and you get some pretty funny sentences. For instance, he said “Hey! Look at the cute bataks”. People walking by gave him ugly looks.

The last day, we ran out of toilet paper. One of us (I won’t say who) resorted to using that menthol-saturated tissues. All I say is menthol can be painful. To add to our discomfort, there was no shower in that bathroom, and no shower curtain. So you had to use the hot water and angle everything so nothing spilled out. Hot water was another rare commodity. Vamsee went after Saru. Now people who know him, know that he is perfectly happy sprinkling water on himself as though it was pepper, and claim he was cleaned. So the geyser was practically untouched after he was done. Then Vamsee went in, and had a long luxurious bath. 25 gallons of piping hot water, gone in 30 minutes of ablution. I was only glad not to take a bath.

The next day, Saru had to call India. So we stopped by a local calling center (pretty much like the PCOs in India). As these 2 lovebirds squeezed into a cubicle the size of a coffin, and took turns screaming into the phone, Kala and I stepped outside. Someone had forgotten to flush in the bathroom next to the cubicles. It was reeking inside. As we loitered about the street, we noticed a couple of teenagers sitting next to the call center. As we sat down on a bench by the building, one of them slowly walked toward us as though he did not want to scare us away. I had noticed that these kids were smoking a joint. This kid came up to us and asked Kala if she wanted a hit! She shook her head and looked away. Then he said “Aei!!” and offered me the joint. I said “No man. It’s fine. Tranquila brother”. He understood “Tranquila brother”, and repeated it again and again and again. Then he started dancing. Then cried, and continued dancing. It was hilarious.

I have got to tell you about the public restrooms they had in Granada. After a couple of beers and a falafel pita, one gets an unbelievable urge to relieve himself. Then, at 8pm, we started hunting around for a public restroom. We found one at last, in the middle of a plaza where there was a crowd gathered to watch a bunch of clowns. You put 0.30 Euros into a slot, and the door swings open. In the room is the loo. You step inside, press a button and the door swings shut. Here’s the catch. The door remains closed for exactly 15 minutes. After that, the door swings open. So if you had a little problem. There is a chance that the door would open. And there you will be, with your pants down and your ass hanging out and half the world watching. A perfect nightmare.